Learning to Live
by kel18
Summary: Learning to live, just might cost them their lives. Lily Evans needs to learn how to really live. Not her imitation of living. And there is one person to show her how; James Potter. Too bad, all good things must come to an end...
1. What? For Your Little Cult?

Learning To Live by MarauderWannabe

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**Author's Chapter Notes:**

All JKR's. Except the occasional orginal character. Otherwise all the credit goes to her.

"What For? Your Little Cult?" AKA Chapter 1

"So Saturday then?" a seventeen-year-old James Potter whispered conspiratorially with his friends that were all huddled together.

Lily Evans sat upright, trying not to listen to the conversation going on behind her as she tried to concentrate on the review session that Professor McGonagall was giving at the front of the class. _Why did I pick this seat? _

Lily dipped her quill into her pot of black ink and scribbled notes down without really knowing what she was writing.

"It's all set then? Everything is in place?" Sirius Black whispered back.

_Ignore them,_ Lily thought to herself, trying to concentrate on her quill scratching her piece of parchment. Lily glanced, annoyed, up at the large clock on the wall. _Five more minutes and you can leave. Five more minutes and you won't have to listen to them talking anymore._

"It's going to be amazing! Greatest thing we have done yet!" James exclaimed while still whispering.

"Better than the rain in the Great Hall in fourth year?"

"Definitely."

_Four more minutes,_ Lily's quill now went through her piece of parchment. She bent over to get another out of her bag. _Three more minutes._

"More of a thrill than the famous Slytherin Robe change of '75?"

"Child's play," James stated simply while leaning his chair back on two legs.

Lily dipped her quill in the ink. _All Animagi must register with the Ministry after learning of their powers,_

_Two more minutes_

"What about the greatest prank that never was finished?" Sirius said, a hint of spite in his voice.

_One_

Lily stiffened in her chair. No matter how much rivalry there was between Severus Snape and James Potter, she could not just sit there silently. She had to tell them off. If they were going to flounce about how they had almost gotten Severus killed, they had another thing coming. Who cared if they are Animagi? Does that make them gods or something? Does that give them the right to try and , however unintentionally it had been, kill someone and then gloat about it?

Hell, no.

Lily turned around.

"No," James said sternly. "That, was a mistake.

The bell rang, leaving Lily with her mouth open, poised to tell of the arrogant James Potter and his sidekick, Sirius Black for being the prats that they were. She couldn't move, she felt as though she were stuck to the chair.

James and Sirius grabbed their packed bags, like they had to take notes, and left the room, still deep in discussion.

_What were they talking about? And since when did James think that was a mistake?_

Lily tapped her foot impatiently, glaring daggers at the large clock hanging over the fireplace in the large Gryffindor Common Room.

8:23

_Twenty-three minutes? Remus feels guilty if he's three minutes late for patrolling!_ She looked again.

8:24

Lily, the impatient person that she had been since she was born, looked at the stairs to the boys' dormitories, and without consciously making a decision, began to ascend the creaky wooden stairs. Once at the top of the stairs, the long hallway stretched out in front of her. For some reason, she felt as though she should be quiet and took care to walk gingerly down the crimson carpet hallway towards the door that had the plaque that was marked "Sixth Years" hanging crookedly.

"-right outside the Room of Requirement, right?" a familiar voice was muffled by the large wooden door.

Curiosity had the best of her, as Lily crept forward to place her ear against the door.

"Right, then we'll meet downstairs," said a voice that Lily recognized as the one and only James Potter.

"I still don't understand why I have to be the one to take it. I mean, can't we get Peter to do it? Or pay off a first year?"

"Take what?" Lily whispered to herself, pressing herself more against the door.

Suddenly it got very quiet and Lily pressed even more against the door, trying to hear if they were still talking, her original purpose for going up those stairs completely forgotten.

That's when she stumbled forward, straight into something hard and stationary. Something hard and stationary that smelled amazingly good.

Lily threw up in her mouth a little bit at the thought.

Someone in a very high place obviously hated her.

"Wow Evans, you know, I've imagine this in a million different scenarios over the years, but this one, this one never came up!" James said mockingly as Lily pushed herself off of him, straightening her shirt over her skirt.

"Don't flatter yourself, Potter. I just came up here to see what was taking Remus so long."

"Moony? What do you want with him?" Sirius asked, seriously confused.

"Patrolling? It is Thursday you know," Lily shot back in a patronizing way, her arms crossed across her chest, glaring at Sirius and then back to James.

"Patrolling is on Saturday's now aren't they? Either way he's not here. It's his um, "time of the month" tomorrow, so he decided to be especially precocious, you know after what happened," James said, his voice suddenly not so cocky.

"Oh, I guess I forgot the date got switched. Well, I guess I'll just go then," Lily said, turning on her heel, but was stopped as James stepped in front of the doorway.

"Oh, not so fast, Evans. Why didn't you just knock?" James asked smugly, staring down at Lily's shocked face.

"How do you know that I hadn't just got there? You know Potter, I have better things to do than stand outside your door."

"What? Like falling through it?" James asked.

Lilly was seriously about to hit him. She lifted up her hand and….

She had waited to long. James' handy sidekick had come and grabbed her hand.

"Sorry Evans, but I need his brain without Moony here."

'Fine, I was just about to leave anyway."

"Hold it, Sirius, we could use her," James said in a pleading sort of voice.

Lily stopped in her tracks.

"Use me? Use me? What makes you think that I would let you use me in anyway at all?" Lily replied savagely, tapping her foot impatiently while she waited for an explanation.

James pulled Sirius aside and whispered in his ear, "With Moony not available, we need someone he'll trust because you know that he won't trust either of us."

"But James, its _Evans_. Once we tell her what we're doing, she'll just rat us out to Filch anyway!"

"How do you know that? I think I could get her to change her mind."

"Prongs, sorry to break it to you, but you haven't been able to persuade Lily Evans to do anything in the last six years, why do you think she'll start listening now?"

"Just give me a shot, I won't reveal the whole plan until she promises not to tell Filch on us, or anyone else for that matter," James answered pleadingly.

"Fine Prongs, but you better be able to pull this off."

James turned around to face the still impatient Lily, her foot still tapping the ground.

"So, Evans, are you doing anything Saturday night?" James started, his sly tone coming out easily.

"No," Lily said as she turned around.

"Don't flatter yourself Evans, I wasn't asking for a date," James replied matter-of-factly.

Now he had her attention.

"Then why-,"

"It's a simple question Evans; what are you doing Saturday?"

"Well, I was planning on studying for McGonagall's Transfiguration final."

"You mean the one that is two weeks away?" Sirius interrupted, unable to stop himself.

"Yes, do you have a problem with that?"

"Really Evans? That's your fun-packed Saturday night plans?"

"Some of us care about our grades, Potter."

"And some of us don't need to study," James added slyly. "But does that mean your plans could change," but when he saw Lily's face he added, "if you wanted them to?"

Lily tried staring into James' eyes, trying to see what he was getting at. She finally added somewhat defeated, "If I wanted them to, I suppose they could. Why?"

"We were wondering if you would be interested in taking dear old Moony's place in a certain, shall we say event on Saturday night," James replied, carefully dancing around any terms that would give away exactly what they were doing.

"What? For you little cult?"

"I like to think of it as super secret society, but whatever floats your boat," Sirius added.

"You could say that."

"A prank I'm assuming then," Lily said as she turned around, yet again to leave.

"It's your decision," James said. "I just thought that you might want to get back at a certain Bellatrix Lestrange, but you know I guess I was wrong."

Lily stopped dead in her tracks. _Bellatrix Lestrange_ Lily thought menacingly. _I can't believe that Potter would even know about that! I guess this confirms that he is in fact a stalker. And working with Potter? Could I honestly do that? But I would love to get back at her…_

Lily slowly turned around.

"Okay, Potter, what do you have in mind?"


	2. Take A Risk, Take A Chance

**Take a Chance, Take a Risk AKA Chapter 2**

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

all JKR's, R&R

Lily hadn't been asleep at all. Yes, she had been lying in bed, with her curtains drawn since ten o'clock, but her eyes had never closed. She lay, facing her clock, watching the minutes tick closer and closer to twelve, thinking the whole time about what she had agreed to.

But she wasn't regretting it. She wasn't regretting telling Potter and Black that she would help with their little prank. She wasn't regretting telling James that she would meet him in the common room at midnight to discuss the finer details of the plan in which she was a co-conspirator.

If she were regretting it, she wouldn't be awake, thinking of how good it was going to feel to get back at Bellatrix for what she did.

_Lily walked down the hall at 9:30 on a Wednesday night, having taken advantage of her later curfew. All she could hear were her footsteps on the marble of the staircase. And someone else's._

Lily looked up from the book that she was caring in her arms and looked around what seemed to be a deserted hallway.

That's when she saw her walking around the corner, twirling her wand between her fingers.

Bellatrix Black, with her long straight black hair, heavy eye makeup and short skirt, looked rather intimidating next to Lily who practically looked like a saint with her curly red locks, natural looking makeup, and plain skirt.

"Oh, hello Mudblood, how are you doing this fine evening?"

"It's after hours Bellatrix, you should be in your common room," Lily answered with as much force as should could muster.

"And you are allowed to be out?" Bellatrix asked with mock interest as they walked closer to each other, Bellatrix twisting her finger around a lock of black hair.

"I'm a prefect, if your teeny little brain can't remember. I could report you to Slughorn," Lily shot back.

"Oh! Little Lily Evans is trying to threaten Big Bad Bella! You don't seem so sure of yourself without Potter around to protect you."

Those words stung Lily more than Mudblood.

"Ickle Potter isn't around to save you. And you know he won't always be, and without him around, what will happen to you?"

Lily tightened her jaw as she and Bellatrix circled each other.

"I don't need Potter," Lily replied icily.

"Oh, is that right?" Bellatrix asked in a teasing manner.

"Yeah, that's right. I can take care of myself, no matter what he thinks. I can take care of my own problems and my own life, and I don't need his help or input."

"But what if something were to happen to you? What would happen to those dear parents of yours? And your sister, Petunia right?"

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked, suddenly alarmed.

"Well, what if someone was to hurt those cute little parents of yours and you weren't around to save them?"

"Is that a threat?"

"Only if you want it to be," Bellatrix answered, a smirk playing upon her lips.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that the Dark Lord is growing stronger and soon there will be no one around to protect you, and slowly everyone you love will fall. That is, of course, unless you join the right side, the good side. With every person that joins him, there is one less person standing in their way of greatness."

"Oh, not this greatness rubbish again. Do you honestly think that by hurting innocent people you will become the greatest witch ever known? Do you seriously believe that?"

"If you were on the good side, you would." Bellatrix replied without a moment's hesitation.

"I'm already on the good side, your 'Dark Lord', he won't last through this year before someone takes him down."

"Is that a threat? You, a mere Mudblood, plan to take him on? The greatest wizard ever known?"

"Only if you want it to be," Lily answered smartly. "Your little 'Lord Voldemort'," Lily scoffed, "Will never be the greatest wizard as long as someone is there to challenge him."

Bellatrix shrugged, "Fine Miss Evans, but don't be too shocked when your perfect little life, becomes, shall we say, not so perfect anymore."

With that, Bellatrix walked away, still holding her wand in front of her.

And for probably the first time in Lily's life, she was scared.

And Lily Evans didn't like that one little bit.  


Lily silently slipped out of bed at midnight. She walked over to her trunk and opened it with a loud squeak. Lily slammed her eyes shut, looking around the room with half lidded eyes, but none of her roommates had stirred. She quickly grabbed her things and changed from her dressing gown into some Muggle clothes jeans and a blue jumper, sliding on her worn trainers. Lily closed the curtains around her four poster, slipped her wand from her nightstand into the pocket of her jeans, and walked silently across the dormitory. She stopped briefly to look at herself in the mirror. She ran her fingers through her hair to try and tame her wild curls. Lily was halfway through fixing her makeup with her wand when she thought to herself in disgust _Evans! What the hell are you doing? It's Potter!_ She instantly stopped and opened the door and closed it carefully trying to make as little noise as possible.

As she descended the stairs to the common room, she wondered if this wasn't a trick to get her in trouble. Knowing Potter, it wasn't a complete impossibility. She stopped on the stairs, seriously considering going back. Was revenge enough of a reason to threaten her chances at Head Girl? What she heard next made the decision for her.

"Evans? Are you there?" she heard a familiar voice whisper.

It was now or never.

"Yeah," she whispered back, descending the rest of the stairs.

It was pitch black in the common room, so Lily took out her wand and wordlessly lit the tip, bringing James into focus.

"So are you ready to learn the details?" James asked as he started to walk toward the portrait hole.

"Wait, we're leaving the Tower? Why can't we do it here?" Lily questioned, suddenly alarmed.

"Too risky. It is too easy to be overheard in this place. Trust me, you learn from experience," James explained, walking again toward the portrait hole. Lily still hadn't moved. "Well? Are you helping me or not Evans?"

Lily sighed and walked forward and said, "I'm coming, I'm coming."

Lily followed James out of the portrait hole, getting a good look at the back of James.

_He's got a good rear,_ Lily thought to herself as they stepped out of the tower. _Stop that Lily! You don't like him!_ She shook her head violently, trying to rid her head of those thoughts.

James stopped and took a silvery piece of fabric out of the pocket of his pants. He took it and put it around himself, extending one arm out so that Lily could get under the cloak as well.

Lily stayed where she was.

"Is this your idea of a sick joke?" Lily questioned seriously. "You're pushing your luck getting me out of Gryffindor Tower. Now you think we're going to stand within a foot of each other? Were you dropped on your head as a child?" Lily continued sarcastically.

"Fine, I won't get caught. You try explaining to Filch why you're out and about, by yourself I might add, at one o'clock in the morning. Tell me how that ends," James shot back in a fierce whisper as he covered himself with the cloak.

And then he vanished.

"Potter! Potter!" she whispered desperately, waiting for that ruddy head of his to pop out of thin air.

Nothing.

"Fine! James! James!" the words felt strange coming from her mouth.

"You rang?" he answered cockily as his head appeared ten feet away from her.

Lily mumbled something that she knew he could here.

"Sorry, didn't quite catch that. You might want to speak up, Evans."

She could hear the smile in his voice.

"Can I come under the cloak with you?" Lily said, wincing as if it caused her physical pain to say the words.

"Why Evans, I thought you would never ask," he replied, opening up the cloak again. Lily walked over with as much dignity as she could to stand next to James and he closed the cloak around them both.

"Don't try anything funny, Potter," Lily told him menacingly while James just laughed.

As they walked, James reached into his pocket again, this time pulling out a piece of ragged parchment along with his wand.

"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good," James murmured as he held the piece of parchment off to the side, trying to make it so that Lily couldn't see it.

Lily tried to look around James' body as they walked, trying to see what was appearing, but James was effectively blocking her view.

"What is th-" Lily started but was cut off.

"I'm not going to show you," James replied hastily without looking away from the parchment.

"But why do you-"she began again.

"Now Evans, you don't need to know, I'm not going to tell you, and you are never _going_ to know."

"Don't I-" Lily began for a third time, but this time she stopped herself. His words seemed to be law and she tried to contain her curiosity.

Lily looked straight ahead, trying to look ahead and ignore the mumblings that she heard coming from the person next to her. She occasionally glanced over, but she still couldn't see.

"What the hell is that thing?" Lily asked, unable to hold back her curiosity.

"Just one of the secrets that belongs to the Marauders," James answered mischievously.

"Well I had assumed that much," Lily replied, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "But I guess that means you won't tell me what your using it for?"

"No, I'll tell you. I'm using to help us reach our destination without getting caught. Good with you?"

Lily nodded. "Yeah, but what is it?"

"Do I really need to repeat myself? Mischief Managed!" he concluded, bringing the ragged piece of parchment into her view again.

Lily grabbed it out of his hands, opening it up and trying to see a trace of anything. She took out her wand and began tapping it when words appeared.

_Mr. Padfoot would like to know how a certain Ms. Evans came across the piece of parchment and would like to ask Mr. Prongs if he betrayed one of the Marauder secrets._

Mr. Prongs would like to tell Ms. Evans that she is the most beautiful girl that he has ever seen and would like to tell Mr. Padfoot that no, he would never betray one of our secrets. Ms. Evans must have come across it on her own.

would like to tell Ms. Evans that she should not dive into their business anymore than she already has

Mr. Wormtail would like to congratulate Ms. Evans on finding one of the secrets of the Marauders but would advise her to give it away.

"Where did you get this? What is it anyway? An advice parchment or something?"

"I didn't get it anywhere if you must know, "James stated simply. "I made it."

"What? But how? I mean your not that smar- I mean, I didn't know you could do that!" Lily whispered excitedly.

"You can say it, Lily. You didn't know I was smart enough to do something like that, did you?"

"It's not that. I mean, I know your good at Transfiguration, how else could you have managed to become an Animagus, but I thought you were really bad at Charms!"

"Do my ears deceive me? Did Lily Evans actually give me, James Potter, a compliment?" James asked with a mock aura of shock.

Lily swatted his shoulder and said, "Oh come on Potter, we both know that you're not a complete airhead."

"Yes, but I thought when this day would come I would at least have some witnesses. I mean, how am I supposed to prove that you said it? Would you be willing to put that in writing?"

Lily laughed and said, "Take what you can get Potter."

They fell silent after that, as James led them, to what Lily thought was aimless, to their destination.

"We're here," James said, but he kept walking.

Lily followed as James walked twenty feet in one direction, and then to her surprise turned around and walked twenty feet in the opposite direction.

"James, what the hell are you doing?"

He didn't respond but repeated the process.

"There isn't even a door here. What's going to happen? Are we going to pace in an empty hallway? That's your brilliant plan?"

James finally stopped and said, "Evans, for once in your life, could you shut up for five seconds?"

He finished his final pace as Lily gave him what she thought was a death glare, and then he stopped and Lily turned and saw…

A door.

"What? But how did you?" Lily asked as she followed him in through the door.

"Wow," was all she could manage as she stepped into the room.

"Evans, welcome to the Come and Go Room, also known as the Room of Requirement," James said as he plopped himself down on a large red couch. "Or the Marauder's Planning Room. Founded by the Marauders only this year. Shame we missed it before."

The large cathedral ceiling seemed to reach on forever as tall windows gave a view to the entire grounds. One whole side of the room was a giant bookshelf, filled with books about every subject under the sun. The majority of the room was filled with large couches and tables filled to the brim with food. On one wall, was what seemed to be a larger version of the map that James had used only minutes before.

James grabbed a handful of grapes off of one of the large platters of food and was throwing them up into the air and catching them in his mouth as Lily walked and sat down on the couch opposite of him.

"I take it you didn't know this room existed," James guessed as he looked at Lily's face as she still tried to take in all the details of the room.

"No clue," Lily admitted as she finally looked at James.

James laughed as he sank back into the couch.

"So are you ready?" James asked nonchalantly.

"Ready for what?" Lily questioned.

"To become an honorary Marauder."

When Lily woke up later that day, she groaned as she looked at the time.

7:14

Lily took a pillow and placed it over head.

_Go back to sleep!_ she ordered herself.

She knew she should be tired. She had stayed up until nearly three o'clock in the morning.

Doing what exactly she still couldn't believe.

Lily could still not believe that she had stayed up until three o'clock in the morning. She had never done that with anyone before.

Especially not James Potter.

She should want to sleep until noon, not be awake after only four hours of sleep. She should have to be woken up by Emma because she was sleeping the day away. And above all, she should have not have stayed up talking and eating food until three o'clock in the morning.

Especially not with James Potter.

She groaned again as she tried to smash her head farther into the mattress. She hated herself. She hated that she had hung out with James Potter. And she hadn't been threatened to. Or blackmailed. She had done it _willingly_. That was what was making her angry at herself. The fact that she was looking forward to hanging out with James again that night was why she didn't want to leave the confines of her dormitory.

She started screaming into her pillow, knowing it muffled her screams. Lily screamed again when she heard her curtains being drawn back.

"Lily, what are you doing?" Mary Macdonald asked her longtime friend. "May I remind you that it is not even seven thirty on a SATURDAY MORNING?"

"Sorry, Mary, I just can't sleep," Lily answered as she sat up and tried to rub the sleep from her eyes.

"Well, now that you have woken me up, you are being forced to come with me to breakfast. So get dressed my friend, before I decide to kill you," Mary stated with finality and turned around to get ready herself.

Lily got up, finding her skirt and shirt, hastily throwing them on and was tying her tie when Emma walked back into the room. They both walked to the mirror by the door, fixing their hair and makeup with a wave of their wands.

"This is one of those moments when I love being a witch," Mary said happily as they both left the dormitory.

When they entered the Great Hall, Lily wasn't sure what to do. Should she sit near James? Or sit farther away? She didn't have to worry though because Mary made her decision for her. Lily ended up sitting diagonally from James and Emma sat on her left.

"So, why were you up this early, Lily?" Mary asked nonchalantly as she buttered a piece of toast.

"Oh, no reason really, just couldn't sleep well is all," Lily said, deliberately avoiding eye contact with James.

"Oh," Mary replied, disappointedly.

Lily grabbed two pieces of toast and began putting jelly on them. That's when it hit Lily.

_What is Mary going to think? What is everyone else going to think? How could I just agree to do this? What are the consequences going to be?_ Lily's frantic thoughts caused her to stare blankly at her piece of toast.

"That piece of toast must be really interesting, Evans," James said, laughing.

This snapped Lily out of her trance and she finally looked at him.

"Just thinking," Lily said.

Then something happened that made everyone at the table think that hell was freezing over.

"Potter, I mean James, can I talk to you? You know, alone?" Lily said in a whisper that everyone heard.

Mary instantly looked up from the Daily Prophet that she had been reading, Remus looked up from his book, Sirius stopped eating, a piece of egg hanging out of his mouth, and Peter continued loading his plate with bacon as if nothing had happened.

"Um, sure," James answered as both he and Lily stood up and walked toward the door to the Great Hall.

Lily felt stares on her back as they walked away. _If it's this bad when we are just going to talk, how bad will it be when they find out that I was in on a prank with him?_

Once they were out of view of the Great Hall, Lily stopped and James stopped with her.

"So, what is this little get together about exactly? You know, not that I'm not excited to be alone with you in a deserted hallway," James commented when Lily hadn't said anything.

"Well, I was thinking about, you know tonight and I realized I can't do it," Lily said in a rush.

"What? Why not?" James asked shocked. "I thought you were all up for it? I thought you wanted to get back at Bellatrix?"

"I did, but now I realized it's not really worth getting in trouble for," Lily said, trying to pass it off as nothing.

"Evans, I mean Lily, you do remember what she did to you? You didn't forget that did you?"

"No, I didn't forget, but I'm not going to sink to her level."

James saw from the look on her face that wasn't the real reason.

"That's not what this is about, is it Lily."

"What?"

"You're afraid, that's why you don't want to do this."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lily commented as she turned around to face the wall.

"Oh yes you do, you still want revenge, you're just scared," James said simply.

"I am not scared."

"Oh come on Lily, we both know it. You're afraid to take a little risk."

Lily looked at him appalled, "I am not afraid to take a risk!"

"Okay, tell me one time that you broke the rules, just one time," James said, laughing at her all the while.

"Well just because I never have taken a risk, doesn't mean I'm afraid to!"

"Oh, come on Lily, take a risk, take a chance! Just this once!"

"No! You can't tell me what to do!" Lily said as she started to walk away.

"I'm not telling you what to do! It's not my fault that you haven't lived a single moment in your life!"

Lily whirled around. "Excuse me, but what is this exactly?" she shouted back as she breathed in and out at a faster pace, exaggerating the inhale and exhale. "I would call that living!" Lily turned around again, walking towards the large marble staircase.

"Oh, Evans you know what I mean! You haven't truly lived a second! You haven't broken the rules, taken a risk, hell done anything that you really want to do your entire life!"

"Don't act like you know me because you don't!"

"Oh really Evans, when has your adrenaline ever been pumping through you? Have you ever been running so hard, so fast, away from someone that is going to catch you that you feel like your heart is going to explode? Have you ever done something your parents told you NOT to do? Have you ever done something because YOU wanted to do it, not because someone told you to? Have you ever done something so reckless that you're hoping the whole time it doesn't get you killed? Have you ever been snogging someone so hard that you are praying to Merlin every second that someone doesn't walk it? Have you ever been so in love with someone that you would jump off a cliff for them? Hell, have you ever jumped off a cliff? When has that happened to you? Any of it?"

Lily just stood there and stared him in the eyes, not saying a word.

"See Lily, you can't say you have, can you? If you don't come with me tonight, if you don't do this thing that I know deep down that you want to do, it is one more night that you haven't lived. But fine, do what you want, spend your whole life not truly living. I don't care," James finished and walked up the stairs.

Lily just stood at the bottom of the stairs, unable to say a word.

**Chapter End Notes:**

So, hopefully now you get the title. I'm about halfway through writing ch. 3(as of 3/30), so i expect it to be done soon adn then it is only a matter for the mods to decide how quickly the rest of you get to see it! As always a review would be great!

-kel


	3. Being So Wrong, It Turns Out Right

**Being So Wrong, It Turns Out Right aka Chapter 3**

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Don't have a lot to say. Hopefully you guys like the story so far. As always, none of this is mine, it all belongs to JKR.

R/R!

Lily stalked angrily across the Entrance Hall and out the large oak doors separating her from the beautiful day outside. She kept her poise as she walked toward her favorite oak tree, which so happened to be conveniently on the opposite side of the lake from the tree that James Potter was often found at. Eyeing the tree, that was all she kept in mind. The sound of her feet hitting the grass, the rippling of the water in the lake, and large, safe oak tree a hundred metres away were the only thoughts that she let pass over her mind.

Once she reached the tree, she leaned against the tree, sliding down until she felt the grass and ground underneath her. Still not letting a sound escape her, she stared blanking at the gently moving water.

_He is definitely wrong! _she thought indignantly. _I most certainly have lived! I mean, I've done lots of things! _Lily nodded her head, as to reassure herself that Potter was wrong, and that she was right.

Lily wanted so badly to be right.

_I have done plenty of things in these past seventeen years. I mean, I've gone to school, I got great O.W.L. scores, I became a prefect, I, I,_ Lily stopped her thoughts again as she had run out of big accomplishments for herself. She began angrily ripping the grass out of the ground, putting all her anger into the task. Then she thought of another.

_Hey! I stood up to Bellatrix! Yeah, I stood up to Bellatrix all by myself, no help from dear old Potter._

Well, she thought truthfully, okay, I didn't **really** stand up to Bellatrix. I just, kind of conspired to. Which I didn't exactly follow through with. And Potter helped me with that too…

Lily sighed loudly. She simply couldn't believe it. She really hadn't done anything. She looked away from the water, instead glancing across it and the large amount of students that were on the opposite side. A few were throwing a Quaffle back and forth; others were swimming in the lake as others screamed that the giant squid was behind them. And then there was a lone girl, sitting with a book open while her friend tried to convince her to come in the water.

_That's me, _Lily couldn't help but think.

_Dammit, _she admitted silently, _Potter was right. _

*****

James sighed loudly as he fell onto his four poster bed. He stared up at the gold leafed ceiling trying to wake up from the dream he was sure he was in.

Only in a dream would James Potter truly yell at Lily Evans.

And tell her that she hadn't lived.

And basically insult her to no end so that she would probably never speak to him again.

_Great, _he thought to himself as he heard the dorm door open and slam shut.

"What are you doing, Prongs?" Sirius said as he sat on his own bed, facing James, and twirling his wand between his fingers with apparent ease.

"Dying," James replied simply.

"Lily? Again? What did she do now? Wait, she didn't rat us out to Filch did she?" Sirius asked sharply.

"Yes and no, well at least I think she didn't rat us out. At least, I don't think she did, or would…"

"What did she do?" Sirius insisted tiredly.

"She didn't do anything. I am simply an idiot."

"You didn't ask her out _again_ did you? I thought your whole strategy or whatever you're calling it now, was to _not_ ask her out?" Sirius said with a hint of sarcasm.

"No, Padfoot, I didn't ask her out. I did something a hundred times worse and she will probably never forgive me and hate me forever," James exclaimed, exasperated as he hit himself on the head with his fist.

"Wait, did you kiss her, Prongs? Seriously? Because, at least if you did that then you wouldn't go forever without getting your dream!" Sirius added hopefully, but was to no avail as James face just went into a deeper frown.

"No, but I wish that _was_ why she won't speak to me."

"Then what did you do?"

James sat up, running his hands through his hair as he faced his best friend. _Maybe admitting it is the first step…_ he thought.

"I basically told her that she was being a coward and that she hadn't lived a moment in her life, and I possibly insulted her beyond return," James blurted out.

Sirius let out a low whistle.

"I have to admit, James, you have dug yourself into some pretty deep holes when it comes to Evans, but, wow. I don't know how you're getting out of this one."

"Thanks for the encouragement, Padfoot."

*****

Lily still sat by her tree as she saw almost all of the students on the opposite side of the lake heading in for lunch. She still didn't move, even though she could feel the hunger pains eating away at her. She couldn't go in and have the chance of seeing him. She didn't think she could face him at all.

Especially since she knew that he was right.

He had been right about everything. He had been right about the long list of things that she had never done and he had. He was right that she was afraid of what would happen, what her friends and everyone else would think if she helped him carry out a prank. Hadn't that been the reason she had asked to see him alone? To tell him that she didn't want to go through with it? Even though she knew deep down it was because she was afraid?

That wasn't even the part that scared her the most.

_If James Potter was right about this, what else was he right about? _

*****

James walked down to the Great Hall with Sirius. Even if he had ruined all his chances with Lily, that didn't mean he wasn't still hungry. Sirius and he sat down, instantly loading their plates high with some of everything until it was a mountain of indiscernible food. James stuck his fork into it, pulling out a jumble of the concoction as Sirius had already had five forkfuls. James could never keep up with his best friend.

James had to admit, part of the reason he came down to lunch at all, and hadn't simply had one of the house elves bring up some food for him was the slight hope that Lily would be there. _Girls have to eat don't they?_ he had thought when Sirius moaned of his starving body and how his was shriveling into nothing. He had an even slighter chance of her talking to him.

_But,_ he thought, putting another forkful of food into his mouth, _if she shows up, she might talk to me._ James was eating much slower than his normal pace because subconsciously, his mind made him look up from his food and toward the door to the Great Hall between every bite. His hope skyrocketed when he saw her best friend, Mary Macdonald, walk into the great hall, her blonde hair blowing behind her as she walked quickly towards where the two marauders were sitting.

She sat down next to Sirius and asked, "Have either of you seen Lily? I can't find her anywhere."

"What do you mean? Haven't you seen her?" James answered, Sirius finishing off his mountain of food.

"Not since breakfast when she left with you to have that 'talk'. What was that about anyway?" Mary replied questioningly.

"Nothing important," Sirius spoke up quickly, before eyeing James still full plate.

James sighed and pushed his plate across the table while Mary watched on in disgust and awe, temporarily losing her train of thought.

"Oh, well, if you do see her, could you tell her to meet me in the library? She promised me she would help me with my Charms paper."

"Sure, Mary, we'll tell her," James reassured, running his hands through his hair again.

"Thanks!" Mary said, grabbing her bag and once again walking out of the now almost empty Great Hall.

James then took up the position of staring blankly across the Great Hall as Sirius finished his portion of shepherd's pie. The sound of Sirius' fork hitting the plate snapped James from his trance. Sirius eyes snapped up to James now concentrated face.

"So, are we still going through with tonight?" Sirius whispered conspiratorially. "Even without Evans?"

James had to think about this. Could they pull it off without her?

"Yeah, we'll still do it. We just have to be a tad more creative," James faked a smile as they both stood up and began walking out of the Great Hall.

_Well, it's not like she could hate me anymore than she already does. Right?_

*****

Lily walked into the library.

It was impulse.

She always came here when she just needed to be, the books and silence were comforting, the only part of the Muggle world that was unchanged in all of Hogwarts. Lily sat down at a table in the midst of it all and simply traced the lines of the wood on the table with her fingers as she let her mind wander.

"Lily! Oh, thank Merlin I found you! I've been looking for you every where!" Lily's best friend's voice interrupted her thoughts. Lily snapped her head up and forced a smile upon her face.

"Yeah, I was just outside enjoying the weather, I hear it's supposed to rain tonight and I wanted to enjoy it," Lily replied as Mary sat down across from her, her golden locks falling over her face as she reached down to pull a piece of parchment and quill and ink from her bag.

"Well, I'm just glad I found you! This Charms essay is really tough for me. I still don't know why I took this class at N.E.W.T. level. You were always the expert. Thanks for agreeing to help me," Mary rambled.

Somewhere, the words struck a chord.

_Thanks for agreeing to help me,_ Lily thought.

"That's what I told James," she said, staring at the parchment that Mary had begun scribbling on.

"What?" Mary asked, her quill poised over the table.

Lily's eyes snapped up to her face, "I told James I would help him, and then, and then, I just didn't."

"Are you okay? Lily what are you talking about?"

"I have to go find him, tell him I changed my mind," Lily said with finality in her voice. "I need to do this. For him. For me."

Lily stood and walked out of the library.

Mary shouted after her, getting a glare from the librarian, "Lily? Lily? James? As in James Potter? You have to help James Potter? Lily where are you going? I still need your help?"

But Lily didn't hear her questions.

*****

"So, we have to wait outside? Prongs, that's awfully risky, I mean what if-" Sirius was interrupted as the dorm door banged open.

A flushed Lily stood in the doorway before saying defiantly, "I'm back in."

She was turning around when James stood up and grabbed her shoulder, preventing her from leaving.

"Wh-what?" James managed to get out.

"I'm… Back… In," Lily enunciated.

"Why?" James asked, exasperated.

"You were right, James. About everything. I want to do this."

James couldn't believe the words. Lily wasn't mad at him.

She said he was right. He could have danced.

But he stopped himself.

"How do we know we can trust you? How do we know you haven't already run to McGonagall about this? Or Filch?" Sirius questioned skeptically.

"What? You want me to swear that I didn't tell anyone?"

"Yes, that would be nice," James replied, smiling.

"Fine. I _swear_ I didn't tell anyone. Happy?"

"I'm not convinced," Sirius stated.

"Okay, how about a deal. If you find out, that I set you guys up, I'll kiss James."

Dead silence filled the room. Incredulous looks on the boys' faces.

"I'm serious, I know that is the only way that you guys will trust me again. We have a deal?"

James nodded, "Yeah, yeah, we have a deal."

"Okay then," Lily responded happily. "See you at eight, boys."

With that, Lily turned and left the room.

Sirius whistled low. "You've got it so bad, Prongs."

**Chapter End Notes:**

We all knew that Lily wouldn't stay away for long.....

I want to try something new. When you revied *hint hint*, leave a favorite quote or section of this chapter. I want to see what parts of my writing you guys like the most.

~kel~


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